The Fear of Being BLACK

Disclaimer:

Now a lot of black men and women are going to be upset or angered by the words that follow, but I have a right to my thoughts and feelings no matter how incendiary they may be.

Let me pose a question that requires no definitive answer, but prompts serious discourse: How do I teach my son to be proud of his black skin when so many black people aren't?

Society has done its best to make black people hate the skin they're in. Especially for our black men who are seen as threats just because of their skin color. From negative media portrayals to racial profiling and numerous other instances, our black men have had little to respect or love about themselves. Even with a black president who served two terms, black pride still dwindles. With the rise of BlackLivesMatter and atrocities being captured on social media, we still struggle with accepting ourselves and each other. So again I ask, how do I teach my son?

The culprit for this low self-esteem and hatred of oneself, I believe,

stems from our mental enslavement forged during Slavery, perpetuated by society, and followed by egregious injustices. A slave owner by the name of William Lynch gave a speech in 1712 in which he claimed that his foolproof methods would control a slave for 300 years or more. This lingering effect that has resonated in generation upon generation of black people is dubbed by many as the "Willie Lynch Syndrome". Lynch was not referring to the enslaving of a body but the enslaving of a mind which has a lasting impact. For some of you this is new information, therefore let me explain a little about Mr. Lynch's process. He believed that by identifying differences within the race and exacerbating those differences, it would give the Master ultimate control over the slave mind hence entire population. Lynch wanted to create a race of people who feared, distrusted, and envied not only the white man, but each other. Consequently, producing a rupture in the unity of the black race. With this disunion the white slave owners would manipulate slaves to bend to their will and not rise up against them. Some of the differences are pitting the light skinned slaves against the dark skinned, young against old, female against male, and foster an environment where blacks are distrusted. Essentially, rearing a race of people that will love, trust, and respect only the white race. This idea was beautifully portrayed by Samuel L. Jackson in the movie Django Unchained.

Now, whether William Lynch ever existed or gave this speech has been debated and discredited by many. Therefore, why mention it? Despite its lack of credibility, whoever wrote it saw a problem that needs to be rectified; a broken race who must now mobilize and create change so the next generation will not feed into societal bullshit.

As a race we need to break free of our mental chains. We are still caught up in the notion of being inferior. We are still separating ourselves by subtle differences that truly mean very little in the grand scheme of things. We are still turning our backs on our brethren in order to be in favor with the "white man". We are still allowing the worse atrocity to occur; the robbing of one's mind. We are still remaining ignorant in a time that calls for enlightenment.

What is my point? As a country and a people we have made great strides in racial equality. We have pushed back against groups and laws that have infringed upon our God given rights, but there is still more ground to cover. I want my son to read about our history and learn from it, not live it. I want him to see a unified race; a world where black pride doesn't equate to black supremacy. James Baldwin once wrote: "All you are ever told in this country about being black is that it is a terrible, terrible thing to be. Now, in order to survive this, you have to really dig down into yourself and recreate yourself, really, according to no image which yet exists in America. You have to impose, in face - this may sound very strange- you have to decide who you are, and force the world to deal with you, not with its idea of you." We have to redefine the image of the black man and bind society to it. It starts with not allowing ourselves to feed into the "Willie Lynch Syndrome".

Beyond the history and righteous talk, my fear is that my son will fall in the psychological trap of determining his value based on good hair vs. bad hair or light skin being preferable to dark skin. These differences are not what makes a person. In order for these particularities to hold no weight and no longer compound our growth into a unified people or just a people who love themselves, we must truly look at ourselves and figure out why we need to cling to these separations. Why is it that we value the light skinned mixed child over their darker counterparts? Why is it we value straightened hair over our natural curls, coils, and kinks? Why is our organic selves not enough? My answer to these questions is illustrated by a simple anecdote:

In the classroom while filling out required registration paperwork, a student came across a dilemma she found to be insurmountable. As with most enrollment documents there is usually a section that requires the student to identify race, ethnicity, and/or identity. This particular questionnaire requested both. First - Are you of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin? The options were a. No, not Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin or b. Yes, and what country. The form provided a few countries like Cuba, Puerto Rico, Mexico and a last option of Yes, another Spanish origin. The student selected Yes and the country that pertained. The second part of the question asked for race identification. The student suddenly became genuinely perplexed because she did not see an option that applied to her. She knew without a doubt that she was Hispanic, but it was not one of the choices. Out of the five options provided (American Indian, Asian, Black or African American, Pacific Islander, or White) she felt her race was not represented. She came to me for clarification on completing this section. My response went something like: Yes you are Hispanic, but this is not a race. Are you American Indian? Asian? Pacific Islander? (She responded No to all) Then you are either a Black Hispanic or White Hispanic. Again she looked at me and the question with utter confusion. To me, this student was clearly a Black Hispanic, but the look on her face indisputably depicted that being black was undesirable. She returned to her desk with her form leaving that question unanswered. She knew she wasn't white, but the thought of being black was horrifying.

We live in a world where it is okay to rob, mimic, borrow, appropriate (whatever term you would like to use) the black culture, but to actually be BLACK - NAH! I'll pass!

Why should we have to check a box to determine who we are and place labels on our identity? Why would I suggest that the young lady from the anecdote is obviously black? This is how society views us, as neat little categories. I understand that race is a social construct and means very little outside of a society that gives it power. Therefore, we need to cut off its blood supply and starve the beast. We can only do that together.

Black people wake up!! Some of us are so quick to riddle off all the other things that we are mixed with to somewhat dilute our blackness. Some of us are so quick to find comfort in the bosom or arms of a white partner and denounce our previous black partners because we hate the stigma associated with our skin. We have found it so easy to turn our backs on being black in hopes of moving on to something better. The reality is there is no escaping your skin. We must alter how race is viewed in society to create a people who love themselves no matter their ingredients.

My toddler son will eventually be a black man and I want to make sure that he grows up in a world where there is continual reinforcement of positive black images.

P.S. I promise my next post will be something frivolous and light, like why my husband can't put shit back where he found it.

#blackbeauty #willielynch