A White Teenager and Her INSIGHT

Being the holiday season, emotions tend to skyrocket and plummet within seconds of each other. This time of year has always been difficult for me since moving, marriage, and motherhood. I currently reside in a region of our country where it does not get cold; therefore, it has never really felt like Christmas without the frigid temperatures and snow. The lack of the previously mentioned items has always put a damper on my holiday spirit. Marriage and motherhood have escalated this sullen state by creating a split in where and who I spend the holidays with: my family or the in-laws. With all of this raging inside of me making me feel horrible about myself and circumstances, I was somewhat "schooled" by a white teenager.

My profession of choice and through divine intervention is educator. I have been in this field for 14 years and have experienced a myriad of high and low moments. But never have I ever felt like my students see me and understand that I am a "real person." (Sidebar: Not that the focus should be on me, because I am truly there as a tool or guide to incite awareness/change through enlightenment. To get these students to critically analyze life and circumstances to help make their lives and the world around them better.) All they sometimes see is just an entity there to make their lives miserable and teach them something they have no interest in.

I have worked in low socioeconomic schools to now a more affluent predominantly white school, where I sometimes question my purpose and whether I belong. A student I have never actually taught, but spent time with in my study hall class, is the person that helped me remember who I truly am and finally made me feel the Merry this Christmas season.

In a Thank you card she stated:

So, at the risk of sounding strange, I'd like to tell you that you inspire ME. You're the first black woman I've met who's so unapologetic and PROUD of who she is. Society does a lot to tear you down, but you are so tenacious and proud of who you are. You've really inspired me to figure out where exactly I, a white lesbian, fit in the struggle for liberation. But you are free. And I am so in awe.

Also, you're the only adult I've met who shares scarily similar political views as I do. You give me hope...

You are such a strong woman. You're not my teacher, but you've taught me the art of self-liberation.

Upon reading these words I was saturated with a hodgepodge of emotions ranging from hope, pride, and adoration to fear, guilt, and shock. All this time I thought seldom did I make any type of impression on these over privileged youth. I had retreated to my shell where pride in my "blackness" and freedom of expression were safe from prying eyes or scrutiny. Little did I know that these elements of my personality could not be hidden because their prevalence emanates in everything I do. It took this intelligent and perceptive young lady to open up my eyes to the me I had forgotten. It took a white young lady from an affluent middle-class city to wake me from my slumber and tell me that I am a free, proud black woman. I plan on unequivocally living those words, for inspiring others is my job. This young lady in her one sincere note has revitalized this dormant soul. Never again shall I hide. Never again shall I conform. Never again shall I sleep.

#selfliberation #strong #black #woman #teacher